


Grab on My Waist, and Put That Body on Me

by enjolrascore



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies to Lovers au, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9348182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrascore/pseuds/enjolrascore
Summary: Monty and Miller meet at Bellamy's Halloween party, and end up going home together. They agree to continue their friends with benefits relationship, but will it actually work out?Title from Shape of You by Ed Sheeran(Disclaimer: most of the sex is implied, and none of the sex scenes are super explicit. If you're looking for smut, this is not for you.)





	1. Halloween Parties and Drunken Hook-ups

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a bit, and here it finally is: fuckbuddies to lovers minty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been working on this for quite some time. Hope you enjoy

It was about an hour into the party when Monty noticed him. That one friend of Bellamy’s that was tragically handsome, and only around on special occasions. Monty had noticed him before, and filed him away as someone to remember. He was on the other side of Bellamy’s living room, drinking a beer and nodding along to whatever Monroe was saying.

They were all at a Halloween party that Raven had forced Bellamy to throw; “they” being the majority of Bellamy and Clarke’s combined friend groups. Monty spotted him from where he was standing near the kitchen, chatting and drinking with Clarke. He let his gaze linger for maybe a moment too long, and Clarke noticed.

“Careful, you might start drooling.” She teased, “Who’re you staring at, anyway?”

“Okay, so do you see that ridiculously hot guy, talking to Monroe?”

Clarke scanned for a moment, “You mean Miller?”

“Beanie, grey shirt?”

“Got him. That’s Miller, he’s one of Bell’s friends.”

“You know him?” Monty asked, taking another glance over at him.

“Not very well, but we’ve met in passing. He’s pretty nice, super quiet, but still nice.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Tell me more.”

Clarke laughed, “He goes by his last name, I’ve never heard anyone call him by his first name, or any other nickname; do with that what you will. He’s one of Bellamy’s closest friends, as far as I know. He just got out of a long term relationship with some guy he’d been with since high school, so you totally have a chance. That’s all I know about the guy, he’s pretty closed off.”

Monty dared another look, biting his lip and giving Miller a once over. He quickly averted his gaze when Miller looked over, making direct eye contact.

“You really think I have a chance?”

“Absolutely. Now, I’m going to go mingle, and you are going keep giving him bedroom eyes. He’s looking over here, when you aren’t paying attention.”

And with that, Clarke left to go talk with Octavia. Monty stayed where he was, downing the rest of his beer, before making his way to the kitchen for another. He had just closed the fridge when he heard a voice behind him.

“Like what you see?”

Monty turned around and came eye to eye with Miller.

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about.” Monty lied, leaning back against the fridge with a smirk dancing across his lips.

“If you say so. Mind grabbing me a beer?”

Monty nodded and did as he was asked, before turning his attention back to Miller. He handed Miller his beer, before taking a large drink of his.

“So,” Miller started, “Which friend group are you here with?”

“Clarke’s, but Harper is the one that dragged me here, and she bounces between.”

“Oh, I know Harper! Super funny, a little nosy, but she's got a lot of strength. She’s dating Monroe, right?”

“Has been for a while, yeah. I take it you’re here with Bellamy’s group?”

Miller just shrugged, “Well, Bellamy and I are tight, but I get along with most of Clarke’s friends. I’m on good terms with pretty much everyone.”

“You must be pretty charming. I’m Monty, by the way.”

“Must be. Nice to meet you, Monty; most people call me Miller.”

“And what do other people call you?” Monty asked, very obviously checking Miller out.

Miller paused for a second, as if caught off guard, before leaning in close to Monty’s ear and whispering, “Whatever I want them to.”

Monty smirked, “Well, aren’t you cocky?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

One drink with Miller turned into two, which quickly turned into three. The not-so-subtle flirting turned into lingering touches, and growing tension.

“What do you say we go back to my place?” Miller offered, dragging a hand down Monty’s chest.

And if Bellamy’s kitchen turned into Miller’s bedroom, and if the fridge Monty had had his back pressed against turned into Miller’s bed, Miller pinning him down and kissing down his neck, well...that was nobody’s business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	2. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty's friends are very invested, and the boys discuss what they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, it had to go through a complete rewrite. I may or may not have cried over it, but it's here now. Hope you enjoy

The first thing Monty registered was the sound of running water. The second thing was that he was completely naked in someone else’s bed. The third was the sound of a phone buzzing off to his left. He opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings as he remembered the night before. Miller’s room was small, with a joining bathroom. The door to it was slightly open, the sound of the shower and the fluorescent lights streaming out.

Again, Monty heard a phone buzz, so he turned his attention to the side of the bed. His clothes were scattered all over the floor, but it only took him a moment to locate his jeans. He slipped out of the bed and swiped up his pants, rummaging around in the the pockets for his phone. He found it, quickly putting on his underwear before hopping back onto the bed. He opened his phone and was horrified by the amount of notifications he had. He unlocked it and scrolled through all of the texts.

 **From Clarke:** _I just got three texts from Jasper. None of them make any sense, but they’re all about your sex life. Did you fuck Miller last night???_

 **From Jasper:** _Yoooo dude nice!!!_

 **From Jasper:** _That guy is really hot I’m so proud of you_

 **From Harper:** _Details now bitch!!! Is he any good?_

 **From Jasper:** _DO NOT ANSWER HARPER I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT_

 **Clarke sent to “dick-linquents”:** _Meet at Bell’s ASAP_

 **Wells sent to “dick-linquents”:** _Be there soon, need to take Murphy home._

 **Wells sent to “dick-linquents”:** _Nevermind, we’ll both be there in a minute._

 **From Bellamy:** _Please respond to your friends; they’re so loud and I’m so hungover. Also, I agree with Jasper for once; DO NOT answer Harper._

Monty groaned and clicked out of his texts, clicking on the missed call.

Voicemail from Raven, “Fucking finally! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get you laid? Too damn long, Monty!”

Monty was so focused on his friends that he hadn’t noticed the water shut off in the bathroom.

“They spam you too?” Monty’s head snapped up and he was greeted with Miller standing in the doorway, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers.

Monty cleared his throat, “Um, yeah. They spammed you?”

“Yeah. The texts started right after Murphy asked if I could pick him up from Wells’ place. You’re friends are really invested in your relationships, aren’t they?”

“More just protective, but they can be a little invasive sometimes. Why was Murphy at Wells’?”

Miller shrugged, “He thought he broke in, but turns out he just showed up drunk last night and Wells let him spend the night on his couch. Last I checked, he was taking him home.”

“Uh, not from what I got. They headed to Bellamy’s.”

“Is that why Bellamy texted me about your friends yelling in his living room? Are they all at his house?”

“Looks like it.”

Miller just shook his head and crossed the room, flopping down on the bed. Monty stared at him for a moment, before unlocking his phone and dialing a number.

“What are you doing?” Miller asked, watching Monty with confusion.

“Calling Clarke.”

The phone only rang twice before Clarke’s voice came through the receiver, “Finally! Where the hell have you been all morning? I mean, I think we all know, but…”

“Who exactly is ‘we’” Monty questioned.

“Pretty much the entire group chat, plus Bellamy, Lincoln, and Lexa. Now, don’t ignore my question!”

“You know where I’ve been! Are all of you at Bell’s?”

“Yeah. Lincoln made pancakes, so if you want to get your ass over here and spill, they’re waiting for you.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll text you when I leave.”

“You’re still there? You better tell us everything, I swear.”

“Goodbye, Clarke.” Monty half sing-songed, hanging up and turning his attention back to Miller, “Yup, they’re all at Bellamy’s. Clarke is hounding me to come over.”

“I take it she won’t take no for an answer?”

“Absolutely not.” Monty laughed, getting up and picking his clothes up off the ground.

Miller followed in his footsteps, reaching for his jeans that had been tossed on the floor.

“So,” Miller started, “About last night…”

Monty froze halfway through putting on his pants, “What about last night?”

“I liked it, and I’d like for it to happen again sometime, if you want.”

“Um, I’m not sure if that’d be smart.” At Miller’s look of confusion, he explained, “I mean, you just got out of a long term relationship, and I don’t think it’d be smart to get into anything, you know, serious.”

“Who said that’s what I was suggesting?”

“Oh. _Oh_ , okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Monty nodded, pulling his pants on the rest of the way, “So, is this going to be, like, one of those no kissing, no sleeping over type of things?”

Miller gave Monty a once over, before crossing the room and grabbing Monty by the hips. He leaned in a kissed Monty without hesitation, firm and calculated. Monty wrapped his arms around Miller’s neck, groaning when Miller ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

After a moment, Miller pulled back, “Do you want it to be like one of those things?”

“God, no.”

“Then it won’t be. You should get ready, Clarke’s waiting for you.”

Monty gawked as Miller walked away, grabbing his phone and sitting on the edge of the bed. He took a moment to collect himself, and then got dressed the rest of the way, quickly pulling on his shirt and shoes.

Miller stood up when Monty got to the door, “I’ll walk you out.”

Monty just nodded and walked down the hallway that lead to the living room. They paused when they got to the door. Monty went in for a kiss, but at the last second Miller pulled back.

“Call me.” He said, opening the door.

“No promises, Miller.”

“Nate. Call me Nate.”

“Okay,” Monty said with a smile, stepping out of the door, “See ya around, Nate.”

Monty heard Miller return the statement as he made his way down the steps and onto the sidewalk, starting his walk to Bellamy’s. He pulled out his phone and flew off a text.

 **To Clarke:** _omw. You’re not going to believe this_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For context "dick-linquents" is a groupchat consisting of Clarke, Monty, Jasper, Harper, Monroe, Octavia, Raven, and Wells. It's mostly memes and 1D discourse; maybe I'll post some snippets one day. Also might post the morning after texts on Miller's phone, not sure.  
> Next chapter: Monty and squad have a chat. Probably
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	3. Breakfast at Bellamy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty meets up with the rest of his friends at Bellamy's place. He's also reminded of just how nosy his friends are.

The walk from Miller’s to Bellamy’s took about fifteen minutes, which meant fifteen minutes of Monty thinking about what just happened. Miller wanted to keep fooling around, but he didn’t want them to be serious, so did that mean they were...fuckbuddies? It was the only conclusion that Monty could come to, seeing as they really didn’t know each other well enough to be friends with benefits. He was still thinking about it when he made it to Bellamy’s, knocking on the door.

It wasn’t even ten seconds before the door swung open and Monty was yanked inside by Clarke. The door closed behind him and he suddenly felt very nervous when eleven sets of eyes turned to him.

“Um, hi?” He greeted, before the entire room exploded.

Harper ran over and gripped Monty’s face between her hands, “I am so proud of you, tell me everything!”

“Let him get in the house first, geez.” Clarke said from behind him, gently pushing him further into the living room.

“So,” Monroe drawled from where she sprawled out on the loveseat, “We all know somebody had fun last night. Spill.”

“Hey, I was promised pancakes.” Monty huffed, avoiding the demands from his friends.

“In the kitchen,” Lincoln piped up from where he was sitting on the couch, next to Octavia, “They should still be warm, syrups on the counter.”

“O, I’m stealing your boyfriend.” Monty declared, slipping past his friends and into the kitchen.

“As if you need to steal mine, sounds like you have no trouble finding your own!” He heard Octavia shout back as he drizzled a fair amount of syrup onto the pancakes that he’d found waiting on the counter.

He made his way back to his friends, leaning against the wall separating the kitchen and the living room. All eyes were on him as he tore a piece of pancake off with his fork, stuffing it in his mouth. He chewed uncomfortably, violently aware of his friends tracking his every move.

“Will you guys stop that?” He whined, “I can feel your eyes burning holes in me.”

“Well, you won’t spill, so it’s not like we have anything to talk about!” Harper complained.

“There’s nothing to spill!” Monty protested.

Raven made a noise of complaint, directing Monty’s attention to where she was seated on the arm of the couch.

“That is so not true. Where were you last night, Monty?” She teased.

“You know where I was last night.”

“Do I? I don’t remember you telling me.”

Monty groaned at his friend’s persistence and shoved more pancake in his mouth. He took his time chewing, before responding.

“You guys know I was at Nate’s. I don’t know how every single one of you found out, but you know damn well that’s where I was. How did all of you find out, anyway?”

“Well, Monroe and I found out from Harper.” Jasper explained from his place on the floor in front of the loveseat.

“Octavia and I found out from Raven,” Harper continued.

“And I found out from Clarke,” Raven concluded.

“What about the rest of you?” Monty asked, glancing between the remaining four.

Clarke cleared her throat, “I saw you leave with him,”

“Clarke told me, right before she told Raven.” Lexa said.

“Octavia told me on the way here.” Lincoln went on.

“Raven told me this morning, when I asked why people were piling into our living room. Also I may or may not have told Murphy.” Bellamy admitted sheepishly.

“Is there anyone that doesn’t know?” Monty demanded.

“I don’t think any of us told Wells.” Clarke offered.

Everyone looked around the room, silently asking if anyone mentioned this to Wells, but everyone shook their head. Monty decided to take that as a win.

“So, you two totally banged, right?” Monroe asked.

“Oh, fucking hell! Yes, okay? No one tell Wells that either.”

Almost as if on cue, the door opened and Wells and Murphy stepped in.

“Hey,” Wells greeted, “Sorry we’re late. What did we miss?”

“Nothing.” Monty answered way too fast.

Murphy gave him a knowing look, flopping down on the floor in front of couch. “Sure...nothing. Hey, Bell, did you make coffee?”

“You just had coffee! You don’t need any more.” Wells told him, still standing by the door.

“I can handle more than one cup of coffee, mom.” There was a teasing edge to Murphy’s voice.

“There should be some left in the pot,” Bellamy told him, “You know where the sugar is.”

“Nice,” Murphy muttered, standing up and disappearing into the kitchen, giving Monty’s shoulder a light punch as he walked past.

“So, how is everyone feeling after last night?” Wells asked.

Raven snorted, “I’m sure Monty feels fucking great.”

Giggles went through the room, and Octavia reached over to highfive Raven. It was in that moment that Monty really questioned his choice in friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, finally, the actual story begins.
> 
> hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Next chapter: Some filler, and someone comes to group lunch with a hickey. Big mistake.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	4. Hickies and Pizza Lunches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sweetness with the boys, and weekly squad lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter wooo  
> It's because almost every chapter from here on out has been outlined since like December

It didn’t take long for Monty and Miller to get the hang of whatever this was. The first week was maybe a little awkward, cautious texts sent from both parties asking if Monty could spend the night. By the second week they were able to throw caution out the window, and by week three they’d fallen into a routine. Monty spent the night when Miller didn’t have morning classes, not even bothering to text before showing up at his place.

They got more comfortable with each other in bed, not afraid to tease, and kiss, and mark. Monty learned rather quickly that Miller was a big fan of marking. It started out with bite marks on his inner thighs that would end up fading within the hour, Miller watching them fade almost mournfully.

“You know,” Monty said, sitting in Miller’s bed with Miller between his legs, tracing the places his teeth had just been, “You’re allowed to leave actual marks, if you want.”

Miller looked up, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you don’t have to just stop at biting; you can leave real marks. I can tell you want to, and I’m, like, really not complaining.”

Miller hummed thoughtfully, sliding up Monty’s body to nip at his collar bones, his neck. Monty sighed and tipped his head to the side, giving Miller more access. Miller kissed at Monty’s pulse point, before sucking for just a moment.

“Is this okay?” He whispered, breath ghosting over Monty’s neck.

“Fuck, yes.” Monty whispered back, lifting a hand to cradle the back of Miller’s head as he went back to sucking a mark into his skin.

By the time they were finished, Monty had countless hickies scattered over his thighs, and one, massive hickey on the side of his neck. Miller looked all too satisfied with himself, trailing his fingertips along the forming bruises.

“Happy?” Monty asked tiredly, starting to feel sleep tug at the edges of his mind.

Miller nodded, “You look pretty with them.”

“Did you just call me pretty, Nathan Miller?” Monty teased, turning so he was using Miller’s chest as a pillow.

“Go to sleep, Monty Green.” Miller mumbled, but Monty didn’t miss the blush that went all the way down his neck.

“As you wish,” Monty sighed, letting sleep take over.

He was woken up by Miller shaking his shoulder. He groaned and turned over, pulling the covers with him.

Miller snorted, “C’mon green bean, time to get up. Your friends are texting you.”

Monty opened his eyes at that, turning back over and fixing his blurry eyes on Miller.

“What do they want?” He questioned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Um,” Miller reached over and grabbed Monty’s phone off the bedside table, “It looks like they’re arguing in the group chat over who will be hosting lunch. Do you guys have lunch together a lot?”

Monty sat up, leaning into Miller’s side and taking the phone from his hands, “Yeah, we try and do weekly group lunches; sometimes more, sometimes less. Looks like we’re going to Clarke’s today. Raven says that Bellamy has banned us, in large groups, from their house unless it’s an emergency.”

Miller laughed at that, “You guys can be a little much. When do you need to be there?”

“In, like, thirty minutes, but it doesn’t really matter if I’m a little late. Clarke and Lexa are ordering pizza. Do you want to come?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your little tradition.”

Monty just nodded, pushing himself out of bed. “Mind if I shower?” He asked.

“Only if I can join you.”

“You’re just trying to make me late.” Monty laughed, but beckoned him to follow regardless.

The shower was actually relatively quick, Miller only getting distracted once or twice. They dried off quickly, throwing on their clothes from the day before.

“I have a noon class; want to come with me to grab coffee? My treat.” Miller offered, tugging his shoes on.

“Sure, I’m always here for free coffee.” Monty agreed, walking out of the bedroom.

Miller just made a noise that was clearly meant to say “I know”, and just followed Monty through the apartment and out the door. They walked together to the coffee shop on campus, occasionally bumping shoulders. When they got there, Miller ordered and paid for the drinks, not even stopping to ask Monty for what he wanted.

“You know my coffee order.” Monty stated, as they stood around waiting for their drinks.

Miller fixed him with a confused look, “Well, duh. I’ve only been going on coffee runs before your eight a.m. classes, so you don’t get super grumpy and try to kill me when I wake you up, for how many weeks? Of course I know your coffee order.”

“I don’t get super grumpy.”

Miller just snorted and grabbed their drinks, when the barista called his name, handing Monty his cup. “Whatever you say, night owl.”

Monty smacked his arm playfully as they left the shop, slowly starting to walk in the direction of the center of campus.

“What class do you have?” Monty asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Gov,” Miller replied mournfully, “Just kill me now.”

“Not a fan of gov, I take it?”

“Is anyone?”

Monty shrugged, “I actually kind of liked gov.”

“Are you one of those people that also liked econ?” At Monty’s silence, Miller chuckled, “Whatever, weirdo, I should start heading to class.”

“It’s not weird to like econ!”

Miller smiled and slowed to a stop. He stepped slightly into Monty’s space, reaching up to cup his cheek.

“This okay?” He asked, breath ghosting over Monty’s lips.

Monty just nodded and closed the space between them, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. Miller pulled back first, still a little reluctant to show large displays of affection. Monty leaned back in for one last peck, before pulling away entirely.

“See you later, genius.” Miller muttered, stepping away.

“Have fun in gov!” Monty called after his retreating form, earning him the middle finger.

He couldn’t help but laugh as he started the short walk to Clarke’s. It didn’t take long for him to get there, letting himself in when he reached her door. The living room was already fairly crowded, with only Jasper and Lincoln not there due to work, and class. Various greetings were thrown his way, and he responded with a lazy wave.

“Pizzas in the kitchen, paper plates are next to it.” Clarke told him from where she was laying on the couch, head in Lexa’s lap.

He nodded and stepped over his friends that were using the floor as a place to lay down, running into Octavia in the kitchen. She almost walked away, before she did a quick double take.

“What is that?” She demanded, getting just enough in Monty’s space that it was uncomfortable.

“Uh, pepperoni?” Monty tried, not really sure what she was getting at.

She let out an irritated sigh, and reached out with two fingers to tilt his head to the side, “Not the pizza, _this_. Holy shit, dude, that’s massive.”

“Octavia, please don’t make this a big deal,” Monty pleaded, registering what she was talking about, but it was too late. She’d already ducked her head out into the living room.

“Guys, Monty has a nasty fuckin’ hickey!” She announced.

“Seriously?” Clarke exclaimed, sounding way too excited, before she came sliding into the kitchen. “Show me!”

“Look at his neck!” Octavia told her, going back to her place holding Monty’s head to the side, “It looks like it was a project, just look at it! That took time.”

“That took dedication.” Clarke nodded, “I’m proud of you, monkey.”

Monty smacked at Octavia’s hand, “Will you two stop it? I _will_ leave.”

“No you won’t, you love us.” Raven laughed from where she’d appeared in the doorway.

Monty just stuck his tongue out at her, grabbing his plate and pushing past them. He was walking away when he felt a tug at his shirt. He turned and came face to face with Clarke’s phone.

“What’s that? What’s that?” She repeated, pointing at the hickey as Monty dodged out of the camera’s view.

She kept at it though, keeping her phone trained on him and her finger on the mark. Just as quickly as she’d started filming, she stopped, tapping on her phone a couple times.

“Was that a fucking snapchat?” Monty demanded, hand coming up to cover his neck.

“No,” She lied.

“Who did you send that to?”

“No one,” She giggled, slipping past him and going back to her spot on the couch.

Monty groaned, walking over and sitting on the ground in front of her, leaning back against the couch. Harper and Monroe gave him knowing glances from where they were cuddling on the recliner, Harper throwing him a quick wink. Monty just rolled his eyes and took a bite of his pizza. They all sat in silence for a little while, Octavia and Raven returning to their spots lying on the floor next to Wells, Octavia occasionally showing them stuff on her phone. Monty was almost finished with his food, when Raven whistled, getting everyone’s attention. When Monty saw that the was holding her phone in his direction, he gave her a tired look.

“Hey Monty, did Miller give you that massive fuckin’ hickey?” She asked.

“No.” Monty answered blandly.

“Hell yeah, he did. He better be dicking you good.”

“Shut up!”

Raven laughed, fist bumping Octavia and tapping on her phone.

Monty got up, going to throw away his plate, “Will you guys stop sending Nate snaps? He’s in class.”

“Too late,” Monroe said, “I already sent him a zoomed in pic of that thing.”

“So did I.” Harper chimed in.

“Me too.” Octavia sighed, stretching out like a cat.

“No more snaps! I hate all of you, I swear.” Monty muttered.

That was met with various taunts and declarations that Monty did, in fact, love all of them. Monty stayed at Clarke’s for another hour, just catching up with everyone and hanging out. It wasn’t until he was walking out the door that his phone buzzed.

**From Nate:** _just got out of class. remind me to keep the hickies to your thighs_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Coffee break
> 
> hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated


	5. Coffee Break With Clarke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke calls for an emergency coffee date, and gives Monty some advice in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like Clarke and Monty's friendship, so expect more of it. Any interaction between them was written out of selfishness tbh
> 
> Also sorry if this chapter looks weird??? Archive keeps fucking me up when I try and make it look nice. Is this happening to anyone else??

Two days after the hickey incident, Clarke called Monty for an emergency coffee date. They agreed to meet up at the coffee shop on campus, after Monty got out of class. He made his way over, shooting Clarke a text to let her know he was on his way. A couple seconds after he sent it, his phone buzzed.

**From Clarke:** _Okay! I ordered u a hot chocolate (u deserve the treat don’t argue) and I got us a blueberry scone. Managed to snag an outside table_

**To Clarke:** _ u spoil me  <3 _

With that, he pocketed his phone, quickening his pace. He made it to the coffee shop in a few minutes, spotting Clarke sitting on the patio. He jogged the rest of the way, ducking down and giving Clarke a quick hug.

“Hey, sorry if you’ve been waiting long.” He greeted, pulling his chair out and sitting down.

“Don’t worry, I’ve only been here for, like, ten minutes.” She said, waving a hand dismissively. “How was class?”

Monty shrugged, grabbing his drink, “It was alright, the teacher was hungover, so she played a video. Like, half the class took that as an invitation to get an extra two hours of sleep. I just took the opportunity to zone out. Thanks for the hot chocolate, by the way.”

“Only the best for you, monkey. I did have a sip, though. Hope you don’t mind.”

“You say that like I didn’t notice your lipstick on the cup; I don’t care, we share drinks all the time.”

Clarke just nodded, “So, you and Miller…”

“What about me and Miller?” Monty asked, breaking off a piece of the scone that was sitting in the center of the table.

“What’s going on between you two?”

“Nothing’s going on between us.”

“Is that really the story you’re going with? Because, that massive hickey is telling me something else.”

Monty just shook his head and took a sip of his drink. Clarke gave him a look, breaking off a hunk of scone and popping it in her mouth.

“Are you two, like, dating?” She continued.

“What? No, we’re just...friends.”

“You mean the same way Lexa and I were ‘just friends’ for the first month we were together?”

“That’s not fair! You and Lexa wanted to be together for that month. Nate isn’t like that.”

Clarke paused mid-sip, “But you are.”

“Huh?”

“You said Miller isn’t like that, but are you?”

“I don’t know, Clarke.” Monty sighed.

“You should probably figure that out.”

“I know.”

Clarke’s expression softened and she reached her hand across the table, catching Monty’s hand in a firm grip, “You know, Wells is just now realizing that you two are sleeping together?”

“Seriously? I didn’t think it was possible to be part of the group chat, and not know every single detail about my sex life.”

“You’d think that, but, up until a few days ago, he thought you guys just really hit it off at that party.”

“I mean, that’s not exactly wrong.” Monty joked.

“I guess not,” Clarke agreed, “Tell me about him. I know we all got the cliff notes of what went down, but I want to know the real stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like, how do you two get along? I mean, clearly you get along pretty well.” She said, eyes drifting pointedly down to the hickey.

Monty’s free hand went up to cover his neck, “Come on, I thought we were over it.”

“I’m just kidding, don’t worry about it; enjoy your hickies, and your sex. Now, answer my question.”

“I mean, yeah, we get along. I wouldn’t say we’re particularly close, though.”

“Why not? What do you two talk about?”

“School, and sex, mostly. He doesn’t really like to talk about himself, and I don’t exactly want to bring up my problems, right after he just came.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t you two be able to talk? I mean, if you can’t talk to the person you’re fucking, you probably shouldn’t be fucking them.”

“We can talk! Just not about, like, heavier things.”

“What do you mean by heavier things?”

Monty shrugged, his gaze dropping to the table, “Like, we don’t really talk about our families, or anything like that. I mean, I know what happened with his mom, and I know he knows what happened with my parents, but we never talk about it. He gets in these moods, sometimes, and he just wants to be left alone. Don’t even get me started on how badly I don’t want to have the anxiety talk.”

“Maybe you guys should talk about the heavier stuff. It might help, in the long run.”

“How would I even start that conversation?”

“How about, next time he gets in one of his moods, you just start by asking if he wants to talk about it? That way, it makes it clear to him that you care and are there if he wants to talk, but it also gives him the option to say no. If he chooses to share, just listen to what he says. Maybe share some of your problems, so he doesn’t feel like all of the attention is on him; it might make him more comfortable.”

“You really think that would help?”

“Sure as hell couldn’t hurt.”

Monty nodded, giving Clarke’s hand another squeeze and looking off in the direction of campus. They stay like that for moment, settling into a comfortable silence. Monty’s attention is brought back to Clarke when he hears the distinct sound of a camera shutter.

“Aw, that’s such a good one!” Clarke exclaims, staring down at the phone in her hand, before turning it to Monty, “Look!”

Monty has to admit, it is a very nice picture. It’s a picture of him, looking peaceful, their joined hands on the table visible in the bottom right. The cloudy sky added a layer of coziness to it that Monty couldn’t quite explain. Clarke definitely had a gift for photography, well, at least when she was photographing her friends.

“You always make me look good. I don’t know how you do it, Griffin.” Monty smiled, watching as Clarke saved the picture and tapped out a caption to put on Snapchat.

“It might just be that you’re naturally beautiful.” Clarke said, setting her phone down and returning Monty’s soft smile.

“Geez, first the hot chocolate, and now genuine compliments? If you weren’t seeing someone, and if I wasn’t gay, I’d think you were trying to get in my pants.”

“Who says I’m not?”

“I knew this friendship was too good to be true.”

Clarke bit her lip to hold back her laughter, “In my defense, have you seen your ass?”

“Only in reflections.” Monty sighed.

They talked for another hour, just shooting the shit and enjoying each other’s company. Upon parting, Clarke made Monty promise that he’d talk to Miller. Monty promised and was rewarded with a tight hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek. As Monty made his way back to his shared apartment with Jasper, he couldn’t help but check to see what Clarke captioned the photo as. He opened and couldn’t help but roll his eyes; over the photo read “morning coffee w this sunbeam”.

Monty took a screenshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Some sex, and some communication. Maybe even some progress, who knows? I sure don't
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated


	6. A Look at the Group Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Various snippets taken from the delinquents gc.
> 
> (Members of the gc: Raven, Octavia, Monty, Clarke, Harper, Monroe, Jasper, and Wells. Lexa, Lincoln, and Bell are all aware of the chat, and read it whenever they can. Sometimes Lincoln responds to things, signing his texts with -L. Wells has the chat muted)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I using this chapter as an excuse to write more of the real next chapter? Yes. Am I putting off writing more of the real next chapter? Also yes. I'm procrastinating so hard on that chapter that this fic now has a pinterest board. Someone pls kill me

**Raven** changed the chat name to _Monty has a hickey!!!!_

**Monty:** _ARE YOU FUCKIGN SERIOUS???_

**Octavia:** _lmaooooo_

**Monty:** _LET IT GO I HATE YOU_

            _THE HICKEY IS GONE ANYWAY_

**Harper:** _You’ll have more soon_

**Clarke:** _It’ll probably be relevant again by like...tonight_

**Monty:** _IM FUCIKGM LEAVING THE CHAT STOOOOOP_

**Monroe:** _dude it was a giant fuckin hickey_

_how can we not tease you_

**Monty:** _I deadass hate all of you_

_**Clarke** _ changed the group name to _dick-linquents_

**Monty:** _THANK YOU_

~

**Monty:** _Newest cryptid- gay solidarity_

**Clarke:** _asohahepihrpaf_

**Harper:** _FUCKIGN STOP_

**Clarke:** _Oh shit what she do_

**Octavia:** _?????_

**Harper:** _NOTHING AHDOAIEOIH_

_I DIDNT DO ANYTHINF UR SO EXTRA_

**Raven:** _he’s been typing for a full minute I’m gonna pee_

**Monty:** _You went to fcuking Panera Bread w/out me!!! What kinda FAKE ASS u know how much I lov their mac n cheese I haven’t left my room in two days and u just GO_ _and fail to TELL ME???? Gay solidarity who? I don’t know her_

**Clarke:** _MONT YAOFIAJOEIH_

**Harper:** _WHATECER LAST TIME U WENT TO BURGER KINF U DIDNT EVEN GET ME A CROWN_

**Octavia:** _shit shaiohfoi_

~

**Jasper:** _who else has seen the stills from the Harry Styles movie????_

**Octavia:** _you mean the 1d movie??_

**Raven:** _Which one?_

**Jasper:** _nono the new movie w Harry Styles_

_I think it’s a war movie?_

**Monroe:** _sorry idk a Harry_

**Monty:** _We can’t all stan Harry ://_

**Clarke:** _Monty I thought u did??_

**Harper:** _HE DOES HE DOES_

**Raven:** _Boi why are you lyin??_

**Monty:** _SHUT YP_

_HE CUT HIS HAIR I UNSTANNED_

**Monroe:** _BOIII HE LOOKED SO BAD AT FIRST_

**Jasper:** _u don’t have room to talk_

**Monty:** _Says the Louis stan??? Binch wyd_

**Octavia:** _Jas do you mean Dunkirk?? Also @Monroe Shut_

**Monroe:** _ASAHOHEOH THIS IS BULLYING_

**Jasper:** _YES!!! THAT ONE!!!_

            _Monroe you literally stan Louis u don’t have any room here_

**Monty:** _U STARTED IT AHOEFHOAIH_

**Monroe:** _I DID NOT WHATS WRONG W STANNINF LOUIS_

**Monty:** _WHATS RIGHT ABOUT IT???_

**Raven:** _I’m wheezing_

_O pls show these to Lincoln_

**Monroe:** _IM FCUKONG LEAVING UR GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS_

**Monty:** _MEET ME OUTSIDE_

**Clarke:** _shahofhaoiehoi stooooooop she’s stronger than you_

~

**Monty:** _HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SEEN THE FUCIKDB MOVIE???_

**Jasper:** _WE WATCHED IT TOGETHER_

**Harper:** _MIGUEL AND TULIO WERE LITERALLY DATING_

**Monty:** _THEY WERE GAY ITS RIGHT FUCJING THERE_

**Raven:** _Holy shit, Jasper ur like….so straight it’s tragic dude_

**Jasper:** _I JUST DIDNT SEE IT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS_

**Monty:** _ARE YOU BLIND???_

**Harper:** _THEY WERE GAY AND EITHER THAT IS THE TRUTH OR YOU CAN COME TO MY HOME AND SNAP MY FUCKING NECK RN_

**Octavia:** _fuck you’re straight. I forgot you were the only straight person in the chat_

~

**Bonus- texts on Miller’s phone the morning after:**

**From Murphy:** _hey can you pick me up? I’m at Wells’ place. He’s not home idk who let me in. I think I broke in. Also did you sleep with that little computer nerd last night?? Dude nice_

**From Bellamy:** _Wake Monty up, his friends are all yelling in my living room_

**From Wells:** _Don’t worry about Murphy. I let him into my place last night, and he woke up while I was out on a coffee run. I’ll take him home._

**From Harper:** _Omg I hate both of you for being silent!! I want details!!!!_

**From Raven:** _Monty really needed to get laid, thank you so much_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Actually the sex and communication, I promise
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> I would just like to say that I have literally nothing against Louis, I just find the idea of the delinquents fighting over the 1d boys absolutely hilarious.  
> Also, if it wasn't clear enough, the movie they're fighting over is The Road to El Dorado
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	7. Living and Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miller gets pissed off and calls Monty over. Communication ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went through a few rewrites, and it may or may not be the beginning of the end.
> 
> Also, if you follow me on any of my social media, you'll know that I've been so fucking busy and stressed for like the past week and a half, so if there are any errors in this chapter please point them out so I can fix them, and forgive me. The chances of me being able to catch mistakes, in my current state of complete and utter exhaustion, are slim to none. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I actually don't have a beta for this story, so any mistakes are my own. Hope you enjoy this chapter tho, it's the start of some really fun stuff.

Monty hadn’t seen Miller in two days, having been busy getting caught up on his homework. He’d just made it to class when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He settled into his seat at the back of the lecture hall, before pulling his phone out.

 **From Nate:** _I’m pissed. Come over after class?_

 **To Nate:** _Sure_

_Want me to bring anything?_

**From Nate:** _Just you_

 **To Nate:** _I think I can handle that_

With that, he returned his phone to his pocket, and pulled his notebook out of his bag and settled in for a very boring lecture. The class seemed to drag on, Monty half-assing his notes. He quickly shoved his things in his bag, when class let out, starting his quick walk to Miller’s apartment. He let himself in, when he got there, dropping his book bag and toeing off his shoes by the door.

“Nate?” He called out, “It’s me. Class was so fucking boring, I swear that prof-”

He was cut off by a pair of lips crashing into his own. He did his best to return the kiss, but Miller’s hands on him were overwhelming.

Monty broke away, putting a hand on Miller’s chest, “Okay, not complaining, but what’s all this for?”

“I told you, I’m pissed.” Miller said, as if it was obvious, “Do you not want to?”

“No, no, I want to. Just wasn’t expecting it, is all.”

Miller just nods, and dives back into another frantic kiss. He pushes Monty’s jacket off of his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, before tugging him in the direction of the bedroom. Monty almost trips at least four times as Miller quickly strips him out of the rest of his clothing, getting him naked by the time they get to the bedroom. Miller pushes him back onto the bed, trailing a burning path down Monty’s chest with his lips.

“Shouldn’t,” Monty breaks off with a gasp when Miller nips at his hipbone, “Shouldn’t you get naked too?”

Miller hums against Monty’s skin, “Just let me take care of you. Let me have this.”

Monty can’t even ask what Miller means, when Miller takes him in his hand, giving him a firm tug, so he just lets Miller have...whatever this is.

~

They’re laying in bed together an hour later, Miller having stripped down to his boxers, and Monty having shrugged on Miller’s shirt. They hadn’t really said a word to each other since whatever that was ended, Monty just snuggled into Miller’s side and accepted the silence. He got to thinking about what he had talked with Clarke about, and decided that it was now or never.

“So,” Monty broke the silence, “Do you want to talk about what pissed you off earlier?”

“Not really,” Miller muttered.

“Okay,”

There was a beat of silence, before Miller sighed, “It was just something that Murphy said, it set me off. It’s nothing.”

“What did he say?” Monty asked, but backtracked when Miller shifted uncomfortably, “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine.” Miller reassured, “He just said something about my mom, I don’t really want to repeat it. It was just a dick thing to say, and I got angry.”

Monty propped his chin on Miller’s chest, “Would you ever tell me about her?”

“My mom? I don’t know, maybe. What do want to know?”

“Whatever you want to tell me.” Monty shrugged.

Miller looked at Monty with curious eyes, considering, before carefully saying, “She got sick when I was ten, and she died right after I turned twelve. She was nice, like, the kind of nice that makes you feel like you can tell that person anything. She was so strong, and, to this day, I have no clue how she managed it. I remember she always smelled like vanilla.” Monty listened as Miller told him the little pieces he remembered about his mother, and was thrown when Miller said, “Your turn. Tell me about your parents.”

Monty let the silence drag on for a moment, collecting his thoughts, “They died when I was eighteen. It was a car crash, they lost control, hit a tree head on going sixty. Everyone said they died on impact, which is comforting, I guess. They were good people, but they held some old beliefs that made it hard, in the last few years. Doesn’t mean I loved them any less.”

“You don’t have to keep going.” Miller whispered, and Monty just nodded.

“Do you ever miss her? Your mom, I mean.”

“Less so, now, but sometimes I do. Like, if something smells like her, or if someone does something she used to do, it’ll bring me back to when I was little. What about you, you ever miss your folks? Eighteen wasn’t that long ago.”

“Long enough. I still have my moments, though.”

“I can imagine.”

“How are we just now talking about this?” Monty asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve been fucking for, like, a month, but I don’t know anything about you. I want to be friends, Nate.”

“Okay,” Miller nodded, “How do you propose we start...being friends?”

“I don’t know,” Monty shrugged, “Maybe start talking about, like, friend things.”

“Friend things?” Miller repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know, friend things. Just, like, the little things about yourself.”

“I think I could manage that, on one condition.”

“What?”

“You have to tell me all the little things about you, too.”

“Deal,”

~

** Things Monty has learned about Nathan Miller (an incomplete list) **

  * His favorite color is red
  * He loves his dad, but they have a strange relationship
  * He sucks at pool
  * But he’s very good at chess (like frighteningly good)
  * His favorite video game series is, and always will be Zelda
  * English is by far his best subject
  * History is another story
  * He’s very good with talking Monty down from panic attacks
  * He’s thinking about changing his major to English
  * Monty is hopelessly falling for him



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: some gentle firsts, probably. Or another party. Not sure what order I want things to go in
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	8. A Gentle Series of Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the little firsts that every relationship has, just not always in the right order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so late, but it's hella long so I mean like??? I tried my best
> 
> TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: Monty has a mild panic attack. It's honestly very very mild, but it's still there, so if you feel like that might trigger you please just skip that part. Everything else should be totally fine

The first time they kiss, without the intention of it leading to sex, is admittedly petty. It was a week before everyone goes home for Thanksgiving, when Monty gets a text from Harper.

**From Harper:** _You free tonight??_

**To Harper:** _Yea, why?_

**From Harper:** _Okay, so you know that girl Fox in my chem class?_

**To Harper:** _I know of her_

**From Harper:** _I can introduce you two later_

_Anyway_

_She’s throwing a party tonight and wanted me to invite everyone_

**To Harper:** _I’m down. Where does she live?_

**From Harper:** _I’ll send all the deets to the gc. Miller down?_

**To Harper:** _I’ll ask hold on_

**To Nate:** _Want to go to a party tnight?_

**From Nate:** _Sure, where?_

**To Nate:** _Harper’s friend Fox is throwing a party_

_I’ll tell you all the details when I see you_

**From Nate:** _Oh, I know Fox. She’s chill. You coming by after class?_

_Also are you texting during class, Monty Green?_

**To Nate:** _Mind your business, Nathan Miller. Yea, I’ll be over in like 30_

**From Nate:** _Kk, I’ll order pizza for dinner_

**To Harper:** _Nate’s coming_

**From Harper:** _Hell ye_

**Harper send to dick-linquents:** _Meet at my place @7 to go over the game plan. We’ll head to Fox’s @7:30. See ya hoes!!_

Monty had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing in class. He pocketed his phone, and turned his attention back to the video that his teacher was playing. The rest of class went by fairly quick, and he headed to Miller’s as fast as he could. He got there around five, letting himself in.

“Hey Nate!” He called out, dropping his backpack in front of the couch and toeing off his shoes.

Miller popped his head out of the kitchen, “Hey Monty. Pizza’s here.”

Monty let out a happy sound and almost ran to the kitchen. The pizza was just sitting on the counter, a stack of paper plates sitting next to it. Both of them grabbed a plate and a couple of slices, before heading to relax in the living room. They settled down on the couch next to each other, sitting in silence for a moment to just enjoy the pizza.

“So,” Monty broke the silence, “We’re supposed to meet up at Harper’s at seven, and then we’re all going to head over to Fox’s.”

“Who all is going to be there?”

“I’m assuming most of the group chat, since that’s where she sent all of the details. I guess we’ll see when we get to Harper’s. Other than that I have no clue, could be anyone.” Monty shrugged, taking another bite of food.

They spent the rest of their free time just eating and watching TV, before making their way over to Harper’s. Monty knocked on the door, and they were yanked inside seconds later by a very excited Harper.

“Yay, you guys made it!” She exclaimed, pulling them both into a hug.

“Of course we did,” Monty laughed, “You think I’d stand you up?”

Harper scrunched up her nose and ruffled his hair, “No, I just didn’t know if you two would get...distracted, or not.”

Miller snorted, giving her shoulder a gentle smack as he walked past her to go stand with Bellamy. Just as Monty had predicted, the entire group chat was there, plus everyone’s significant others, and Murphy. Everyone was spread out in the living room, most people just laying on the floor. Harper pulled Monty over to the couch, plopping down with her feet in his lap.

“Okay,” Harper announced, getting everyone’s attention, “We need to go over our game plan. Which two of you are keeping us in check?”

“Wells?” Octavia asked, nudging his thigh with her foot from her place on the arm chair.

“No way, I stayed sober last time.” Wells complained, trying to push her foot away.

Bellamy sighed, “I’m down to wrangle your drunk asses. Lincoln?”

“Sure, I haven’t been the chaos manager in a while, so it’s about time.” Lincoln nodded.

“Great! Let’s go over the emergency plan,” Harper started.

“Do you guys go to this much trouble before every party?” Miller asked.

Monty shrugged, “Better to have a plan for any situation, than get in trouble and not have an out.”

“Exactly! So, if one of gets a little too sloppy, one of the chaos managers needs to make sure we get home safe. If anyone gets in a fight, find out if the person deserves it, and then proceed accordingly. Can anyone tell me the one rule of fights, Murphy?”

Murphy looked up from where he was standing in the corner, crossing his arms before mumbling, “No broken bones,”

Miller made a sound of confusion, “Do I want to know why you guys need that rule?”

“Do you remember when Murphy broke his nose, like, four months ago?” Monty replied, continuing when Miller nodded, “That’s why we have that rule. He got in a fight at the fourth of July party, and he got his nose busted. I think I speak for everyone when I say we could’ve gone without that hospital visit.”

“We absolutely could’ve gone without that hospital visit,” Harper agrees, “Now, no going home with someone, without telling one of us where you’re going, and who you’re going with. Everyone on the same page?” There were murmurs of agreement from everyone in the room, and Harper clapped her hands together, “Alright, let’s roll.”

Monty waited for Harper to get up, before getting up from the couch and walking over to Miller. He stopped his conversation with Bellamy, both of them turning their attention to Monty.

“You guys have had a lot of party accidents.” Miller laughed, “I’m kinda glad I’m just now starting to come to these things.”

“We’re not the most calm group of people you’ll ever meet,” Monty shrugged, “Come on, let’s get going.”

They all made their way out of Harper’s house, letting Harper lead the way to Fox’s place. She didn’t even bother knocking, when they made it, just opening the door and ushering everyone inside.

“Fox, we’re here!” Monroe called out, closing the door behind them.

A girl popped her head out from the kitchen, her eyes lighting up as she ran over to greet everyone. She had long dark hair, pulled up into a messy bun, and she wasn’t too much shorter than Monty.

“Hey guys!” She exclaimed, pulling Monroe into a hug, “Glad you could make it!”

“Of course!” Monroe responded, hugging her back.

“Everyone, this is Fox. Fox, meet everyone.” Harper said, gesturing to the group.

Fox waved lazily at the mass of people, “Hello, everyone. I see a few friendly faces here, good to see you! Alcohol is in the kitchen.”

Everyone got excited at that, chatter erupting and people trying to push their way to the kitchen. Fox just laughed and led the way to the kitchen. They all grabbed a can of beer from the fridge, cracking them open in unison. They heard more people arrive, and Fox ran out to greet them. Most of the group made their way into the living room, but Miller and Monty stayed in the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

“Are you excited to party?” Monty asked, pulling himself up so he was sitting on the counter.

Miller just shrugged, “I guess. It’s fun to hang out with all you guys, so I’m not complaining.”

Monty was about to respond, but he was interrupted by Raven and Bellamy sliding into the kitchen.

“Okay, so, we come with a warning,” Bellamy started.

“What?” Miller asked.

“Bryan is here,”

“Seriously? Where?”

“Far wall, by the snack table. I just thought you should know.”

Just as Bellamy said that, Fox came running in.

“Miller, I swear I had no clue he was coming!” She promised.

“It’s okay, Fox, take a second. I believe you.” Miller assured her.

Fox took a deep breath, nodding, “I can kick him out, if you want me to.”

“No, it’s not worth causing any drama.”

“Monty,” Raven interrupted, looking Monty dead in the eye, “You know what to do.”

Monty nodded, and Raven gave him a smirk as she pulled the other two out of the kitchen.

Miller turned his attention to Monty, “What did she mean by that?”

“Down your beer, it’ll all make sense in a second.”

They both chugged the rest of their drinks, throwing the cans away. Monty popped his head out, assessing the area. Bryan was indeed standing by the snack table, chatting with some people Monty had never seen before. Bellamy and Raven had taken the couch, and everyone else was mingling.

“Okay,” Monty grabbed Miller by the arm, “Follow my lead.”

He pulled Miller out of the kitchen, and situated them so they were leaning face-to-face on the wall exactly opposite of Bryan.

“What are you planning, Green?” Miller whispered, glancing over at his ex.

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s watching. Come here.”

Monty reached up and cupped the back of Miller’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Miller’s hands immediately went to Monty’s waist, pulling him closer. Monty brought his free hand up to rest on Miller’s cheek, deepening the kiss. He sighed happily when Miller slipped his tongue in his mouth.

They stayed like that for what could’ve been hours, just making out against the wall, completely tangled up in each other. They only stopped when they heard someone wolf whistle.

“As happy as I am for you boys,” Octavia said, walking over to the pair, “Wells brought up body shots, and I don’t think you two would want to miss this.”

They laughed and untangled themselves, following Octavia to one of the rooms. They spent the rest of the party like that, doing shots off of their friends and making out while dancing. It wasn’t until they were leaving the party that Miller pulled Monty aside.

“Thanks for that,” He mumbled.

“For what?”

“You know, making my ex jealous, or whatever. Besides, you took my mind off of it, off of _him_ , so thanks.”

Monty just grinned, hopping up on his tiptoes to plant a firm kiss to Miller’s lips.

“No problem. I’m down to kiss you, anytime.”

“Good to know,” Miller smiled, taking a step back.

“See you tomorrow, scruff.” Monty giggled, waving as he started walking toward Jasper.

Miller watched as he walked away. He vowed that he’d spend more time kissing Monty Green.

~

The first time they held hands was extremely uneventful. They’d been sitting on the couch, watching a Chopped marathon, and Miller had thrown his arm around Monty’s shoulders. Without really thinking about it, Monty reached up to tangle their fingers together, leaning into Miller’s side. Miller had been the one to react.

“You’re holding my hand.” He said dumbly.

“I am,” Monty replied, confusion clear in his voice, “Is that okay?”

“No, yeah, it’s okay. It’s kind of nice, actually.”

“We’ll have to hold hands more often, then.”

Miller just nodded, turning to press a kiss to Monty’s head. Monty hummed, tilting his head up to catch Miller’s lips in a short kiss. He pulled away, causing Miller to make an unhappy sound and chase after his lips.

“That’s nice too,” He muttered.

Monty snorted, “Really? I hadn’t noticed. Pay attention to the show, lover boy, they’re about to chop someone.”

~

For as long as he could remember, Monty had always had anxiety. It’d gotten worse in the last few years, since his parents died, but he was on medication for it. Despite having a support system, he still had bad days. He knew the moment he woke up that today was going to be a bad day; not really feeling like he was in his body, hands trembling. He avoided his phone and took his medication, praying that it would work on his walk to class. It didn’t.

He was spacey for the entirety of the lecture, not even bothering to take real notes, too distracted by the way his heart was beating just a little too fast. He hadn’t even realized he’d zoned out until he heard his classmates packing up their things. Sure enough, when he looked up at the clock, it was time to leave. He shoved his notebook into his bag, pulling out his phone as he stood up to leave.

**To Nate:** _Can I come over?_

**From Nate:** _Sure_

**To Nate:** _Thanks_

**From Nate:** _Everything okay?_

**To Nate:** _Not really_

With that, he stuffed his phone in his pocket, not really wanting to see how Miller would respond to that. He’d told Miller about his struggles with anxiety, but that didn’t mean he wanted to keep talking about it. The walk to Miller’s seemed to go by faster than usual, and, before he knew it, Monty was letting himself in. Miller looked up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Hey,” He greeted, watching Monty drop his bag and toe off his shoes, “What’s wrong? You said you weren’t okay, and then just didn’t elaborate.”

Monty sighed and dropped onto the couch next to him, ignoring how his heartbeat skyrocketed, “It’s nothing, just need a minute.”

Miller studied Monty’s hands, shaking where they rested on his knees. He studied the tension in Monty’s shoulder’s, how he seemed to be forcing himself to breathe. Clearly it wasn’t nothing.

“Monty, you know that you can tell me stuff, right?”

“Yeah,”

“So, why aren’t you telling me now?”

“I told you, it’s nothing, Miller.”

Miller paused for a second, taken aback, “You never call me Miller.”

Monty finally looked over at him, at that, eyes filled with an emotion that Miller never wants to see again. He looked downright terrified. His mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was searching for something to say, and coming up empty handed. He really didn’t want to have a panic attack in front of Miller, but everything was too much too fast. Finally he just broke, tears welling up in his eyes and falling onto his cheeks so fast that Miller didn’t even have a moment to process.

“Sorry,” Monty gasped, wiping at his face, “Sorry, sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Miller asked, moving to comfort Monty.

Monty jerked away from the contact, standing up from the couch, “I don’t know, just sorry.”

Miller watched Monty pace for a second, trying to figure out what to do. It wasn’t until Monty let out a sudden, shuddering breath, before gasping for more air, that Miller understood what was going on. He remembered Monty telling him that he had anxiety, which sometimes resulted in panic attacks, if it was particularly bad that day.

“Okay, Monty,” Miller started, getting his attention, “Come back, and sit down. I won’t touch you, I promise.”

Monty looked skeptical for a moment, but he still sat down, crossing his legs and facing Miller. His next shuddering gasp spurred Miller into action.

“Monty, I need you breathe, okay?” He said gently, keeping his voice even.

Monty nodded and took a deep breath, trying his best to let it out slowly, “I’m sorry, Nate.”

“It’s okay, you’re not doing anything wrong. Did you take your meds this morning?”

“Yes, they didn’t help.”

“Alright, just keep breathing, you’re doing great. What can I do to help?”

“Wait, and, maybe come here.” Monty reached out, reaching for one of Miller’s hands.

Miller caught his hand, holding it tight and nodding. He watched as Monty closed his eyes and fought to control of his breathing, occasionally gripping Miller’s hand a little tighter. They sat like this for awhile, silently waiting for everything to pass. Eventually Monty’s grip on Miller’s hand lessened, and he let all of his breath out in one big sigh.

“Better?” Miller asked, running his thumb over Monty’s knuckles.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Miller reached over with his free hand, brushing the tears from Monty’s cheeks, “No problem. Let’s get you some water.”

~

Monty first realized he was falling for Miller on a rainy Sunday morning. He’d woken up enveloped in Miller’s warm arms, the sound of the rain on the roof only adding to the coziness of the situation. Monty moved slowly, trying to get out of Miller’s arms without waking him, so he could go shower. He was almost free when he was yanked back against Miller’s chest, Miller grumbling something, still half asleep.

“What was that?” Monty teased, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice.

Miller tightened his arms around Monty, “Don’t go.”

“I’m just going to the shower,”

“No,”

Monty couldn’t help but laugh at that, “No?” He felt Miller shake his head against his neck, “I’ll be back before you even wake up, I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise,”

Miller sighed, letting Monty go and snuggling his face into Monty’s pillow. Something about that small action, seeing big, tough Nathan Miller bury his face into his pillow, made Monty’s heart flutter. It was at that moment that Monty realized there was no hope left for him.

~

**Bonus: Bellamy and Raven’s outside perspectives**

Bellamy was happy that Raven had managed to snag the couch, meaning they had a front row seat to the show that was their friends making out to make someone jealous.

“They’re really going for it, damn.” Raven muttered, leaning into Bellamy’s side.

Bellamy threw his arm around her shoulders, “They really are.”

“I’m so proud.”

Bellamy snorted and shook his head, though he had to admit he was happy for Miller, too. He glanced over at Bryan, who was, as predicted, staring at the pair. He scrunched up his nose when Miller whispered something in Monty’s ear, grin wide on his face, causing Monty to giggle and pull him in for another kiss. Bellamy couldn’t hide his laugh, causing Raven to pull her attention away from their friends.

“What’s so funny?” She asked.

“The look on Bryan’s face when they do anything even remotely cute.”

“They’ve been doing cute things this whole time.”

“Very true,” Bellamy agreed, pausing before asking, “Does Monty know that Miller is completely gone on him?”

Raven sighed, “He doesn’t have a clue. You should see the texts we get of him pining after Miller.”

“You think they’ll ever figure their shit out?”

“I sure fuckin’ hope so,” There was a beat of silence, “They’re going to be a disgustingly adorable couple, aren’t they?”

“No doubt about it.” Bellamy chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Another coffee with Clarke
> 
> hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	9. Coffee with Clarke pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is back at it again w her words of wisdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long! If you follow me on other accounts, you'll probably know that I had a couple health hiccups that kept me from writing. But, I'm back and I think I have this all mapped out right to the end! If things go to plan, there should only be three chapters left, not counting this one

Monty was straddling Miller’s hips, when his phone went off. It was Saturday morning, and what had started out as lazy kisses, turned into both of them stripped down to their boxers, Monty rolling his hips every so often, as Miller licked into his mouth. Miller groaned at the sound of Monty’s phone. 

“Don’t answer it,” He pleaded, but Monty was already leaning over to grab it.

Monty rolled his hips as he unlocked his phone, pulling a gasp from Miller.

**From Clarke:** _Coffee time monkey!_

“Who is it?” Miller asked, his hands on Monty’s hips trailing lightly up his sides.

“Clarke. It’s time for a coffee date, apparently.”

“Tell her you’re going to be late,”

Monty chuckled, “I don’t think so, mister. Coffee with Clarke is a sacred tradition.”

**To Clarke:** _Be there as soon as I can. Order for me?_

**From Clarke:** _Sure thing! Chai tea latte?_

**To Clarke:** _Yes please. I love you <3_

**From Clarke:** _< 3_

“Will you stop texting, while you’re straddling me?” Miller complained, shifting his hips.

“Aw, is someone feeling ignored?” Monty teased, tossing his phone to the side and leaning down to kiss Miller again.

He kept the kiss chaste, before rolling off of Miller and off the bed. Miller groaned, reaching over to grab a pillow and smacking Monty with it.

“Are you really going for coffee?” He asked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

Monty made a noise of confirmation, “I’ll be back before you know it, you’ll be fine.”

Miller watched mournfully as Monty put on his clothes, snagging his phone and stuffing it in his pocket. He plucked Miller’s hoodie off of his desk chair, shrugging it over his shoulders. 

“You’re never going to give that back,” Miller muttered.

“Probably not,” Monty agreed, walking over and draping his arms over Miller’s shoulders, “Not like you care, I know you secretly like when I wear your clothes.”

Miller just hummed, tugging Monty closer by the hips. Monty leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Miller’s lips, moving to cup his face.

He pulled back, “Stop pouting,”

“I’m not pouting,”

“Yes, you are. I’ll come back right after coffee, I promise.”

“Fine,” Miller sighed, “Go have fun with Clarke, tell her I say hi.”

Monty started his way toward the door, “Will do.”

Miller flopped backwards onto the bed, sending Monty a lazy wave. Monty waved back and made his way to the living room, pulling on his shoes and leaving the apartment.

**To Clarke:** _omw_

**From Clarke:** _Kk, I’ll be the cutie in a red scarf sitting on the patio_

Monty stuffed his phone in his pocket, quickly making his way to the coffee shop. He found Clarke almost instantly, ducking down to hug her before sitting down.

“Good morning,” Clarke smiled, pushing a cup toward Monty.

“Morning,” Monty returned the smile, grabbing the cup and taking a sip.

“Who’s sweatshirt is that? It’s, like, three sizes too big on you.”

“It’s Nate’s, I borrowed it when I left. He says hi, by the way.”

“Oh. Sorry if I interrupted anything,” Clarke said, raising her eyebrows.

Monty felt his face heat up, “No, we were just...nothing, we were doing nothing. Can we change the topic, please?”

“If we must,” Clarke sighs, but she’s smiling, “So, winter break is coming up.”

“It is. What are your plans?”

“Lex and I are going to visit her sister, Anya, and have an early Christmas there, and then we’re going to have Christmas at my mom’s. We’re coming home on the twenty eighth. What about you? Any big plans?”

“Not really. Jasper and I are probably just going to watch old cartoons and eat mac n cheese. Harper and Monroe might swing by, but we’re not sure. Normally we’d hang out with Raven, but she’s going to spending the holidays with Bell and O.”

“Is Miller doing anything?”

“He’s going to go visit his dad. He’s leaving on the 20th and coming back the day before you, he’s not taking the full three weeks. He said it's because, since his mom died, him and his dad don’t like making a big deal out of any of the holidays.”

Clarke nodded, reaching over to trade drinks with Monty, “Can you promise me you won’t do what you always do?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Every year, without fail, you fall into a funk around Christmas. I understand why, I really do, but will you at least not isolate yourself this year?”

Monty just shrugged noncommittally, not wanting to get into it, taking a sip of Clarke’s coffee. Clarke fixed him with a look, but let the subject drop.

“Have you told Miller that you like him?” Clarke asked, taking a sip of Monty’s tea.

Monty sighed, “No, I haven’t. I couldn’t find the time, I guess.”

“Oh please, you’re practically living together. What’s the real reason?”

“We are not living together!” Monty protested, avoiding the question.

“How many nights did you sleepover last week?”

“Like, four. Give me my tea, I’m not sharing if you’re going to bully me.”

“I’m not bullying you,” Clarke argued, trading drinks regardless, “So, you have a toothbrush at his place?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Did he make space for you in his closet?”

“Only for the essentials, that doesn’t count!”

“It counts. I already know that you guys have breakfast together, so we can check that off the list, too. Do you two have sex every time you come over?”

“Clarke!”

“I don’t need details, just answer the question.”

“No, we don’t. I wish I got laid four times a week.”

“So, you’re telling me that you don’t fuck your fuckbuddy, even though you want to? That doesn’t sound a little more than casual to you?”

“Fine, maybe I spend more time at his place than normal, but that doesn’t mean I can just...talk to him.”

Clarke toyed with the lid of her cup, “Why not? I thought you two were friends.”

“We are! It’s just, I don’t want to push him away by saying something stupid. He made it clear that he didn’t want anything real.”

“This seems pretty real to me.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think he feels that way.” Monty muttered.

“Why are you letting not knowing kill you like this? What do you have to lose?”

“Him.”

Clarke’s face softened, “That’s not a reason to suffer, monkey.”

“I know.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Okay? That’s it, no lecture about self preservation?”

“Not today. Just promise me you won’t let this eat you alive. Because, you do deserve to know if he likes you back, and you deserve to be happy.”

“I promise, Clarke.”

Clarke shot him a soft smile that clearly said she didn’t believe him for one second, and reached out to grab his hand. Monty gave her hand a gentle squeeze, looking away from her knowing gaze. He was so screwed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Sleigh bells ring, and someone fucks up (or thinks they do)
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated :)


	10. Winter Break(down)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disassociation and catching feelings really don't mix well. Also some angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I've agonized over this chapter for over a week and I just decided that I'd just fuckin post it, and move on with the rest of the fic. I'm at the point where I know exactly how everything is going to wrap up, and I'm not letting this chapter get to me.  
> I hope yall enjoy regardless tho! Also their pinterest board is coming along great, and I may or may not be coming up with a playlist...someone help me

Monty has never been a huge fan of the holidays. It was better when his parents were still around, but now that they aren’t the holidays are borderline unbearable. He always feels foggy, and the days go by in blur, each bleeding into the next. Jasper always does his best to try and help, but it doesn’t usually work. Most of the time they spend their winter break on the couch, watching cheesy Christmas movies and getting high.

He started feeling hazy when Clarke left, even though she promised to text everyday, he hated having to hug his friend goodbye. He spent the next two days in bed, only getting up for food when Jasper made him. His friends called and texted, but he didn’t bother answering, only listening to the voicemails they left.

“Hey genius,” Raven was never good at hiding her concern, “Just checking in to see how you’re doing. Um, Jas said you were kind of just staying in bed a lot, which is fine, it’s just… you know. Bell and Lincoln want you to know that you can come over if you need to talk, or anything. Love you, call me back.”

_Are you sure you want to delete this message?_ **Yes**

Octavia definitely took the more tough love approach, “Damn it, Monty, answer your phone. We all love you so fucking much, and we’re all here for you, you know that, so stop ignoring us. We’re all worried about you. Just respond to any of us, not even all of us, and we’ll leave you alone. At least call Miller, or some shit, just please call someone.”

_Are you sure you want to delete this message?_ **Yes**

He moved to the texts, not ready to face the last voicemail waiting for him.

**From Clarke:** _Made it to Anya’s safe and sound! How are you?_

_ You have read receipts on. I’m serious, are you doing okay? _

_ Okay I’ll take the fact that you’re leaving me on read as an answer _

_ I’ll keep you updated on the trip. You don’t have to respond _

_ I love you _

**From Harper:** _Your ass better stay safe I stg Green_

**From Monroe:** _If we have to come over there we will._

_ Just know that we love you _

Monty clicked back into his voicemails, finger hovering over the last one, before pressing play.

“Um, hi,” Miller’s tentative voice was surprising, “I don’t really know how to go about this, shit. Jasper texted me that you weren’t doing great, and Clarke told me that this might happen, but I didn’t think ahead. Um, just know that I’m here for you, and you can always come over. Fuck, I’m bad at this. Just, don’t forget that I’m also your friend, okay?”

_Are you sure you want to delete this message?_ **Nevermind**

Monty turned over in bed, looking out his window. The sun was just starting to go down, tinting the sky pink. He looked down at his phone one more time, and got out of bed, pulling on whatever clothes he found first. Jasper was in the living room, when he made his way out.

“Where are you going?” He asked, watching as Monty tugged his shoes on.

“Nate’s,” Monty muttered.

“Doesn’t he leave tomorrow?”

Monty just nodded, moving to leave, when Jasper caught his arm. The two finally made eye contact, and Monty hated the concerned look in Jasper’s eyes.

“Why?” Jasper asked, his tone tinged with desperation.

“I just need to, Jas, please. I need to feel something.”

Nervousness flickered across Jasper’s features, but he released Monty’s arm regardless, “Be safe.”

Monty didn’t waste any time racing out the door and down the sidewalk, the cold air hitting his skin. He absentmindedly thought he should’ve brought a jacket. He hadn’t even been aware how long he’d been walking, until he was knocking on Miller’s door. He didn’t really have a plan for what he was going to say, but it didn’t really matter. The door swung open.

“Monty?” Miller questioned, eyebrows immediately scrunching together in confusion, “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

Not having an answer, Monty just surged forward, connecting their lips in a frantic kiss. Miller stumbled back a few steps, pulling Monty back with him and reaching out to close the door behind them. He pulled away, hands on Monty’s shoulders.

“What are you doing here? You’re freezing.”

“Walked. Just, don’t worry about it,” Monty shrugged, pulling Miller back into a bruising kiss.

Miller was nipping at his lower lip, and their tongues were brushing just often enough to tease, but it wasn’t _enough_. Monty looped his fingers into Miller’s belt loops and yanked forward, grinding against him. He couldn’t help but smile internally at the sound it pulled from Miller; he wanted to make him feel good, wanted to be useful in some way. He pulled back, moving to suck marks on Miller’s neck.

“Monty,” Miller gasped, “What’s this about?”

“Shh, don’t worry about it,” Monty repeated, moving back in for a kiss and trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

Miller’s hands moved from Monty’s shoulders to cup his face, but he jerked away when he felt wetness on Monty’s cheeks.

“Monty, you’re crying.”

Monty tugged on Miller’s shirt, “It’s fine,”

“It’s not fine,” Miller said, placing a firm had on Monty’s chest.

“Please,” Monty whispered, ignoring how his eyes welled up when he look at Miller’s face.

“No.”

Monty looked away, sniffing as he angrily wiped at the tears sticking to his eyelashes. He felt Miller pull him closer by the shoulders, wrapping Monty in his strong arms. Monty took the opportunity to bury his face in Miller’s chest, not even caring that he was for sure getting Miller’s shirt wet.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Miller soothed, rubbing circles into Monty’s lower back.

Monty just shook his head and gripped Miller’s shirt a little tighter. They stood like that for who knows how long, Miller whispering soothing words into Monty’s hair. Eventually Monty pulled back, wiping his face.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have come here. I totally get if you want to kick me out, or anything.” He muttered, looking at the ground.

Miller made a sound of confusion, “I don’t want to kick you out. I want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just,” Monty started, but stopped to take a deep breath.

“Take your time,” Miller reassured.

“I don’t have my parents, my friends are off with their loved ones, and all I have left is Jasper. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jasper to death, he’s like a brother to me, but it’s just hard, you know? And this year I thought, maybe, it could be different, but...nevermind.”

“Monty, all of your friends are here for you, and you can call them whenever you need to, you know that,” Miller said, resting his hands on Monty’s shoulders.

“You don’t get it.”

“Then explain it to me.”

Monty looked up, making eye contact, trying to find an out. Ultimately, he couldn’t find one.

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I love you. I love you so damn much, Nate, you don’t even know. I feel like I’ve loved you since the start, and I know you don’t love me back, and it kills me. I know I should’ve said something sooner, but I just couldn’t risk losing you.”

Miller opened and closed his mouth a few times, like he was searching for the right words and coming up empty handed. As the seconds went by, Monty felt his panic rise, tears starting to fall again. Eventually he just pulled away.

“I shouldn’t have even come here, I just fucked everything up. I know you don’t love me back, it’s okay. I’m just going to leave.” Monty stuttered out, turning and opening the door.

Monty heard Miller call his name, but he was already rushing down the sidewalk, trying to get away as fast as possible. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled until he found his texts with Clarke.

**To Clarke:** _I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up_

**From Clarke:** _What happened???_

_ I’m calling you _

No sooner did Monty get that text, before his phone was ringing.

“I fucked up so bad, Clarke.” He choked out.

“What happened?” Clarke sounded panicked.

“I told Nate I love him. I ruined everything.”

“Wait, what did he say?”

“He didn’t say anything! That’s the problem, he just stood there, but the look on his face said enough.”

“Oh, honey. Where’s Jasper?”

“He’s at home, I’m walking back from Nate’s.”

“Okay, I’m going to put you on speaker for just a second.”

“I’m sorry, I know I’m probably ruining some nice dinner you were having.”

“You’re not ruining anything, it’s okay.” Clarke reassured. He could hear her tapping on her phone, “Alright, Jasper’s waiting for you. How close are you to your place?”

“Not far.”

“Just stay on the phone with me until you get home, okay?”

“Okay. What am I going to do, Clarke?”

“Whatever you need to do, sweetheart. I’ll help you fix this, I promise.”

Monty just took a steadying breath, stopping at the stairs leading to his apartment, “I’m home.”

“Good, go be with Jasper. Call me if you need anything. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He hung up, not wanting to risk saying anything else. He took a moment, before opening his door. Jasper was waiting for him in the living room when he walked in, and stood up the second he heard the door open. They stared at each other for a second, then Jasper opened his arms and Monty couldn’t help but fall into them. Everything about Jasper was familiar, right down to his scent, so Monty just burrowed his face further into his neck.

“It’ll be okay,” Jasper whispered, gently rocking them back and forth, “Clarke is handling things, I’m right here for you, everything is going to turn out alright.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Monty muttered into Jasper’s skin.

“I know. What do you say, we get you some water, and I come sleep with you tonight? You seem like you could use a cuddle buddy, right now.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, go get comfortable. I’ll get you that water.”

Monty nodded and untangled himself from his friend, making his way to his bedroom. He changed his jeans out for a pair of sweats, and changed into a clean shirt, before getting under the covers. It wasn’t long before Jasper came walking in, handing Monty the glass of water. He waited until Monty had a few drinks, setting the cup on the nightstand when he was done, and then climbed in next to him.

Monty let Jasper pull him against his side, one arm wrapped securely around his waist, the other positioned so he could play with Monty’s hair. He turned his head so he could press a gentle kiss to Monty’s forehead, and Monty couldn’t help but lean into it. Monty slung an arm over Jasper’s stomach, fingers toying with the hem of his shirt. He turned his head slightly so he could breathe in Jasper’s scent, trying to calm his nerves.

“It’ll work out,” Jasper soothed, almost as if he could feel Monty’s nervous energy, “In the end, everything will work out how it’s supposed to. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

He didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Never underestimate the power of your friends
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	11. True love lies in friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty's friends are the best friends ever, probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I said this chapter would be out last weekend. When I said that, I forgot about finals, finals prep, and singing at graduation. Needless to say, I overestimated my ability to write an entire chapter in the few hours I managed to grab while not dealing w school shit. It's officially summer tho, so I officially have time! Their pinterest board continues to grow  
> Hope yall enjoy

The next morning, Monty woke up to a voicemail from Miller. Him and Jasper stared at it for a while, until Jasper broke the silence.

“Are you going to listen to it?” He asked, running his fingers through Monty’s hair.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Monty sighed.

“You don’t have to, if you can’t.”

“But, what if it’s something important?”

Jasper just shrugged, jostling Monty slightly. Monty sighed and pressed even closer to Jasper, so he was basically laying on him. He stared at his phone for a moment longer, before giving in and pressing play.

“Um, hey. I’m leaving for my dad’s, like, right now, but I still want to talk to you. My phone will probably be off for most of the trip, so if you get this in time could you call me back? I don’t want to leave this how it is. Just...I don’t know. Please, call me.”

Monty tossed his phone to the side, opting to bury his face in Jasper’s chest instead. 

“Are you going to call?” Jasper asked softly.

“Too late now, he’s well on his way to his dad’s. I don’t know if I would, even if it wasn’t too late.”

Jasper just nodded, and wrapped his arms a little tighter around Monty.

~

Monty hadn’t really planned on doing anything for Christmas, as Jasper didn’t care, and they all had a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Years. His lack of plans was interrupted when he heard a knock on the front door, followed by at least four voices talking at once. He turned over in bed, so he was facing away from the door. A moment later his door banged open.

“C’mon, genius,” Raven’s familiar voice sounded from the doorway, “Time to get up.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Monty whined.

He felt his bed dip, and a hand tugging on his shoulder, forcing him to roll onto his back. He came face to face with Octavia laying on her side, head propped up on her elbow. He looked past her and saw Bellamy standing with Raven.

“Well, one of two things could happen,” Octavia started, “One, we could drag you out of here by saying if you don’t get up, you’re straight. Or two, we can call everyone in here for a giant cuddle pile, until you feel like getting up.”

“The cuddle pile does sound tempting,” Monty admitted.

“We can make it happen, just say the words,”

Monty considered it for a moment, before shaking his head, “No, I’ll get up. Who else is here? And why?”

“Lincoln, Harper, and Monroe. Last we checked, they were arguing over food. We’re here because, we love you and we want to make Christmas good for you. That, and Clarke sent a very strongly worded text.”

“What was in the lead for food?” Monty asked, rolling out of bed and pulling on the nearest pair of sweatpants.

“I think Lincoln’s spaghetti was winning.”

Monty just nodded, following his friends out of the room. As Octavia said, the rest of his friends were still in the living room, arguing over noodles. The second Monroe saw him, she ran over, pulling him into a firm hug.

“Good to see you up,” She whispered into his hair.

“Good to be up, I think,” Monty whispered back.

Monroe pulled back, a soft smile on her face, and reached up to brush the hair away from Monty’s forehead. With a quick kiss to his cheek, she pulled away entirely, walking back over to Harper. 

“Hey Green,” Harper started, glancing over at him, “How do you feel about spaghetti?”

Monty shrugged, “Sounds good to me.”

With that, Lincoln plucked one of the bags of noodles out of her hand. He set the bag down on the counter and started opening the cabinets, looking for what he’d need.

“Where do you guys keep your pots?” He asked, still moving around the kitchen.

Jasper pushed off from where he was leaning on the wall, “Over here.”

Octavia and Raven went to join the four of them, leaving just Bellamy and Monty standing in the doorway. Bellamy leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms and fixing Monty with a look.

“How are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m okay,” Monty sighed, “Just needed some time, I guess.”

“I’d imagine. Miller told me what happened, when he called, or at least the cliff notes version of it. Sounded rough for both of you.”

“He called you?”

“Yeah, from his house phone.”

“How is he?”

“He’s okay,” Bellamy responded carefully, “He’s in one of his moods, though, snapped at me a couple of times. Other than that, he seems to be having a good time with his dad.”

“Snapped about what?”

“Honest answer? You; it’s a really touchy subject.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before Monty broke it.

“You know, you didn’t have to come.”

Bellamy cocked his head, “Why wouldn’t I come?”

“I know that you and Nate are close, and I kind of fucked shit up with him, and now he’s snapping at you. I don’t know, nevermind.”

“Even if I did think you’re in the wrong, which I don’t, neither of you are, I’d still be here. Yeah, Miller is my bestfriend, but you’re my friend too and I’m here for you. I’m not picking sides here.”

“You’re allowed to.”

“I’m not going to, because neither of you are wrong. This will right itself, Monty, I have no doubts in my mind.”

“Thanks, Bell.”

Bellamy smiled softly, reaching out with one hand to grip Monty’s shoulder, “No problem.”

Christmas wasn’t so bad.

~

Monty was at Clarke’s the day she got home, curling up on the couch with his head in her lap. Lexa was gone when he got there, out to pick up pizza, so he used the time to talk with Clarke.

“How have you been holding up?” She asked, running a hand through Monty’s hair.

“I don’t know. Everything just feels weird.”

“Did you talk to Miller yesterday? I know he’s home.”

“No, he got home late. He did text me though.”

“What did he say?”

“Just that he wants to talk, and that I should call him back.”

“Did you?”

“No.”

Clarke sighed, reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. The two watched House Hunters in silence, until Lexa walked in, toeing off her shoes.

“Hey, babe,” Clarke greeted, tilting her head up for a kiss.

“Hey,” Lexa said back, “Hello, Monty. Everything okay?”

“Hey, Lexa. More or less.”

She just nodded, setting the pizza box on the table and settling into the armchair. Monty sat up so he could grab a slice, and they ate in silence for a moment.

“Lex,” Clarke started, “Do you think you could offer an outside perspective?”

“Is this about that guy you’re sleeping with, Monty?” Lexa asked, continuing when he nodded, “I can try. What’s bothering you?”

“I don’t know, I just feel like I fucked everything up. I mean, I literally showed up at his place and had a breakdown, after trying to initiate sex. I for sure thought he’d be angry, but he wasn’t. Asshole had to go and be nice about it, hug me and tell me everything was okay, but then he didn’t even respond when I told him I love him. I don’t understand.”

Lexa took a moment to let the words sink in, before slowly saying, “It sounds to me, just from what you told me and from what I’ve heard, like this relationship has spiraled into something much larger than either of you intended. I understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about things further, but it honestly won’t do you any good in the long run. It’s not fair to either of you to continue lying about what you are. If I were you, I’d just be completely honest, as painful as that may be. If you lose him, you lose him. Continuing to lie is going to hurt you more than losing him ever will.”

Monty groaned and leaned his head on Clarke’s shoulder, “I hate it when you’re right.”

“So, are you going to talk to him?” Clarke asked, leaning her head on his.

“Well, it’s not like I can go over to his house. How can I talk to him?”

“Are you going to Bellamy’s New Year's beach party?”

“Octavia threatened to fight me if I didn’t, so yes.”

“Talk to Miller then, I’m sure he’s coming. You can do this.”

“Here’s hoping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Happy New Year
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @sapphiceponine
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated


	12. New Years Beach Bash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 15798 words (on my doc, that is), 66 pages, 12 chapters, countless texts to and from my bestfriend, at least three breakdowns, 1 pinterest board, and 1 playlist later here we are.
> 
> Yalls continued support is the only reason I was able to finish this out tbh, so thank you!! Every kudos and nice comment means so much  
> Hope yall enjoy the very last chapter

Bellamy’s New Year's beach bash was somewhat of a tradition. Afterall, they all loved the beach. They usually passed on the alcohol, opting to just bring snacks, and soda, and blankets to cuddle up on. They always arrived in time to watch the sunset, so they had hours to just catch up, before the fireworks started.

Monty arrived with Jasper around seven, after most of their friends had already arrived. Monty hardly made it to the fire pit and kicked off his shoes, before Raven was tugging him away from the group.

“What’s going on?” He asked, pulling his arm out of her vice grip.

“I want to talk. Walk to the water with me.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

Raven shot him a look, but quickly returned her gaze back to the ocean, “Miller’s coming tonight, you know?”

“Yeah, I figured. I was actually kind of expecting him to already be here.”

“Have you two talked?”

“No, he texted me the first few days he got back, but I haven’t gotten anything since then. It’s been weird, I guess.”

“Oh yeah, Bell said something about Miller trying to text you. Why didn’t you respond?”

Monty was quiet as they approached the edge of the water, getting just close enough that his feet got wet every time the tide came in. Finally, he decided on an answer.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Raven asked, kicking up sand mindlessly.

“Losing him, I guess. I don’t want to him to hate me.”

“What are you going to do when he gets here? You know he’s going to want to talk to you.”

Monty sighed, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, if I’m being honest. I just feel like I should’ve known that this wouldn’t work out, that I’d somehow fuck this up.”

“Why can’t it still work out? I mean, look at the shit me and Bell went through, before we started dating. Even after everything, we made it work.”

“Yeah, but you and Bell are, well, you and Bell. You two were meant to work out.”

“And you and Miller aren’t?”

“No, it’s just,” Monty paused, taking a second, “I’m not as headstrong as you, and no one is like Bellamy. We’re all just so different. I’m just scared that I fucked everything up.”

“Well, I’d recommend you get over that fast. He’s coming over here.”

“What?”

“Good luck, Green.” Raven gave his shoulder one final squeeze, before walking away.

Monty was too nervous to turn around, so he just stood still as Miller approached, coming to a halt next to him. Monty shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie to keep from fidgeting.

“Um, hey,” Miller said awkwardly.

“Hey,” Monty repeated, not sure what else to say.

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say.”

“Neither am I. I guess I should start with I’m sorry. I know that I fucked up what we had, and it was shitty of me to ignore you after.”

“Yeah,” Miller agreed, “It was, but it’s okay. I didn’t exactly react well, either.”

“I can’t blame you for that, and I don’t. You just wanted to be friends, that’s what we agreed to at the start, and I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. I really do like you, Nate, even when we aren’t fooling around. You’re smart, and funny, and good, and I don’t want to lose that, because of some dumb mistake. I can handle just being friends, it might take me a bit, but I can. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and that’s fine, I don’t expect you to love me. I just don’t want this to ruin everything.” Monty rushed out, needing to catch his breath after.

There was silence for a moment, Miller just looking at him with that calculating stare. Monty took to drawing patterns in the sand with his feet.

“I could hardly sleep at my dad’s,” Miller said suddenly.

“What?” Monty finally looked up at Miller, making eye contact.

“You’re always right there, and you make these little sleep sounds. It’s not really snoring, or talking, it’s more like humming. I guess I didn’t realize how much I’d gotten used to it.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I love you, Monty. I love all of your little quirks, and your bad habits, and how you smell. I could fucking wax poetic about how your eyelashes cast shadows on your cheeks, right when the sun starts coming in through the curtains. I am hopelessly in love with you.”

“For how long?” Monty whispered.

“I’m pretty sure part of me has been in love with you since you denied knowing what the fuck I was talking about at Bellamy’s party. I realized at my dad’s, the first night I was there. I couldn’t sleep, because you weren’t there. The pillows didn’t smell like you, and, when I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn’t have your little hum to help me get back to sleep. That’s when I realized how truly fucked I was. What about you? How long?”

“Since the start. The second you came over to me, all cocky, with that completely unfair smirk, I was done for. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“You should’ve. This whole time, we could’ve been dating.”

“Wait, you actually want to date me?”

“Of course I do,” Miller chuckled, meeting his gaze, “If you want to date me, that is.”

Monty couldn’t fight the smile that overtook his face, “I really, really do.”

“It’s decided then.” Miller responded, matching Monty’s grin.

Monty couldn’t help himself when he pulled Miller in with a hand on the back of his neck, smiling into the kiss. He felt Miller’s hands on his waist, pulling him closer, smiling just as hard. They only pulled away when they heard the distinct sound of a camera shutter, followed by their friends catcalling them. Monty looked over to see Clarke lowering her phone with a wide smile of her face.

“I couldn’t help it!” She exclaimed, “You two looked perfect. I’ll send you the picture.”

Monty just shook his head and leaned up to give Miller one last kiss, before grabbing his hand and pulling him back to their friends. They sat down on one of the blankets together, laughing as their friends shoved them around and teased them. Monty made eye contact with Clarke across the fire pit, and she just smiled softly at him, before quickly tapping something out on her phone.

**From Clarke:** [image attached]

You two are cute. I told you it would be okay

**To Clarke:** You did

~

Monty posted the picture Clarke had taken of them to his Instagram the next day. They were kissing, silhouetted by the sunset behind them.

♥ **shesafox** , **betterblake** , and **20 others**

**greenthumb** Who would’ve thought I’d start the new year with a new boyfriend?

                    Picture cred @skygirlclarke

**beanieboy44** I had a feeling you might…

**beanieboy44** Also, that hoodie was mine at one point

**greenthumb** @beanieboy44 mine now

**r.reyes** This is cute gross (ily)

**bellboy** I’m happy for you two!

**jashands** Im fuckign crying

**itsharper** Cuties!! You better not show up w more hickies tho Green ;)

**greenthumb** @itsharper OH COME ON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's that. Hope you enjoyed!! On to my next project ;)
> 
> Hmu on tumblr @rxchelxmber (abandoned my old branding lmao) if yall wanna talk or want that playlist
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated :) 
> 
> (huge thanks to all of you <3)


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